"How to Create Epic Drama In Your Life"
"Are you getting your minimum daily requirements of chaos?
Do inner peace, gratitude, and contentment occasionally creep up on you and sabotage your ability to indulge in your anxiety?
Here’s a quick and handy two-step process for making sure your world is full of epic drama.
1. Believe and act like your safety, security, success and happiness are dependent on other people and forces outside of you that you can’t control.
2. Try to control them.
For those of you who prefer to keep it more complex and time-consuming, here are seven practical tips for making sure you achieve a high drama existence.
Let me be your drama director as we shout out the traditional opening words…
“Lights! Camera!! RE-ACTION!!!
The Seven Spiritual Steps To Successful Drama
1. Always Visualize The Worst Possible Outcome
Everybody accentuates the negative on occasion. What if I go broke? What if I lose my house? What if I get sick? What if I’m alone forever? What if I’m in this relationship forever? It’s perfectly human to use the power of negative thinking from time to time to conjure up worst-case scenarios about the future. But as your drama coach, I want to inspire you to focus all of your attention on the most negative possible outcomes all of the time. When this discipline has been achieved, you then relax into the certainty that you can always find something to freak out about in any situation, and that fear will never abandon you again.
2. Procrastinate & Downright Avoid Meditating
Being too busy and active to still your mind is essential on your path to drama-realization. Good drama requires us to be fully lost in our roles as actors on the stage, reading our reactive lines and getting engrossed in our stories. Meditation teaches us to become conscious of the part of us that is an audience member, witnessing and even enjoying our own performance. This detachment is the death of drama, and must be avoided at all costs. So keep busy, inside and out. Have you answered all your emails today? Is there something good on TV? Who needs a shoulder to lean on? Always make sure that your life and your mind are filled with clutter and free of those empty spaces between your thoughts that can threaten and disturb your absence of peace.
3. Get Good At Repressing and Exploding
Drama majors are often found swinging like a pendulum from one extreme to another, skillfully avoiding meddling with Mr. In Between, where the boredom can put you to sleep. All you need to do is to stuff your feelings till you can’t hold them in any longer and then explode without restraint or concern for anyone, especially the ones you care most about. As a practice, try being 100% nice and sweet in a relationship. Stretch yourself to accommodate as much and as long as you can, and then take the lid off and let the steam out, like Mt. Saint Helens does once in a while. Drama Queens (and Kings) know that there is nothing as satisfying as having a totally unpredictable volcanic eruption after being good, silent, and inactive for a spell.
4. Leave Your Inner Child Alone Inside You Without Parental Supervision
When our inner kids get scared, they create some really juicy drama, but only if we are committed to denying them our own re-assurance, empathy, guidance, and loving boundaries. When we have the will power to not succumb to such self-indulgent self-help nonsense, our inner kids will have no choice but to try to get those needs met solely from others, and usually through some pretty high drama antics. When two people in a relationship abandon their kids at the same time, oh boy, that’s when the fun kicks into high gear. The adults have left the vehicle, and you can guess who’s in the front seat, banging on the horn, flooding the accelerator, yelling out the window, and playing extreme bumper cars. Yippee!
5. Set Huge Goals, Maintain Unrealistic Expectations
There is nothing as beneficial to a dramatic lifestyle than developing the habit of reaching for the stars, falling short of your lofty goals, and punishing yourself for failing. Taking big leaps and falling flat on your face is paramount for maintaining low self-esteem, which is the foundation of all good drama. Reach for the mountain-top, and on the way don’t look down at your feet. Taking one step at a time is for people who lead uninteresting lives, filled with a lackluster sense of gentleness, peace, and other dismal downers that drama majors are skilled at sidestepping.
6. Judge Your Judgments
Every human being judges, but only the ones that have learned the art of judging their judgments excel in creating melodrama. Have you ever been known to shame and blame yourself for feeling afraid and stuck, telling yourself that there is something really wrong with you for not moving forward? Good! You are on the right track. Now, take your next step. Judge your judgments! Tell yourself that you should know better than to shame and blame yourself. Heap loads of guilt upon yourself for stooping yet again to the low consciousness of self-criticism. This will make you quite an energetic downer that can’t help but suck energy from those around you. You’ll be the lifelessness of the party! Can a good, high drama soap opera be far behind?
7. Get Grounded In The 3 B’s…. Blame, Blame, & Blame
Blaming yourself has already been covered. But don’t rest there. Blame everyone else too. Life’s not going the way you want? Blame! Blame first, ask questions and take responsibility later, if at all. Appropriate targets are Mom and Dad, friends (if you still have any), your mate (if they are still around), the Bush administration, the Clinton administration, big corporations, small minds, and, of course, God. Self-responsibility is highly overrated, and leads to issues losing their charge and actually getting resolved, which flushes good drama down the toilet. Instead, let it overflow, all over the tile of your life. Blame, Blame, Blame!
Affirmations for Good Drama
* Every day in every way I am stressing out over everything, real or imagined.
* Everything is working together to conspire to bring the worst possible outcome to my doorstep.
* Life is against me and I am doomed.
* I count my bills every day, and they are always more numerous than my blessings.
* God always gives me something to complain about.
* This, or something worse, is now manifesting for the highest cost of all concerned.
* I no longer have to work to create drama. Drama happens effortlessly and naturally, all around me.
* Whatever calamity I can conceive, I can achieve.
* I am always in the right place at the right time, successfully up to my ears in trouble.
* I always have everything I need to manifest everything I don’t want.
* All is hell in my world.
“Respond to emergencies in a causal manner.”
~Norman Vincent Peale